blueramel (blueramel) wrote,

A place that I belong to

I think I've always been finding a place that belongs to me. Somewhere in this world where I can truly say that I can be whatever I want to be and no one will judge me for it. I can be the awkward turtle that I am and people will accept that of me. I wonder if it is possible for me to actually find that place.

Today, I made the worst choice possible. And this is not the first time in committing that kind of mistake. I really should have know better. But I was on the high of nbscommoners and I didn't quite get down from it when I planned the surprise. It sometimes slip my mind that I'm not the same in jc as I am in uni. I guess the only difference is that I allow people closer now. Not as close as other people can allow but closer than what I ever had before. It's strangely liberating and intimidating at the same time.

With my uni friends, I don't know if I show a different side but I know that I feel different. There can be silence when no one talks at all but we will be comfortable in that silence. I can freely make conversations with almost everyone. But with the jc class, things are pretty different. I don't really know how to say it...

I wonder if I can ever feel completely comfortable around them. I would really like to, but I'm not sure how I should go about doing this. Maybe I'll find out with time.
Tags: personal, rants
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