Scattered by the Wind (Dark Blue) WIP
blueramel

Synopsis: They knew all too well what drove them apart. It was just that the storm occurred all too fast for them to stop it. They were like petals scattered by the wind: blown in directions that they rather not go to.
- in which the miracles took a step back and reviewed the years they spent in Teikou

 

 

 

Dark blue.

 

 

 

The sky was turing ominously dark for a sunny day it was a few moments ago. Clouds like patches of paint staining the sky dark blue, threatening a heavy downpour. A flash of lightning and a resounding clap of thunder woke a particular dark blue haired boy from his nap.
"Woah.... " he gave a low whistle as he surveyed the dark clouds.
Checking his watch, he concluded that it was too early for him to be heading home. It was 3 pm. Official lessons has already ended, marking the start of club activities
Yup, way too early to go home.
"Aahh... Guess I have to find another place for my nap." he muttered darkly, obviously annoyed by the fact that his nap was interrupted. The rooftop was his favourite place for a nap. It was a place where there isn't a lot of people around disturb his sleep. After all, the rooftop was supposed to be out of bounds for all students. Honestly, he could care less about school rules.
Sitting up from his previous posture, he got a clear view of the school ground. The field below was in a semi-choas state as the outdoor club members scrambled to gather their equipment. Amidst the people, he spotted a girl with pink hair making way through the crowd.
That... looks like Satsuki...
As that thought streaked through his mind, he was suddenly aware that it was time for basketball practice and that pink haired girl is probably Satsuki, his childhood friend and the basketball club manager, on her way to drag him to practice. The thought of practice left a bitter aftertaste.
Oh well, by the time she reaches here I would be gone and it would be pouring...
---
Satsuki dashed up the stairs leading to the rooftop. She knew for a fact that a certain blue haired teen has a habit of napping there and she needs to make sure that he attended at least 1 out of the 3 basketball practices that they have weekly. Quickening her pace, Satsuki could only hope that she can reach the rooftop fast enough to catch a glimpse of him before he disappear. It was not like she totally have no clue about his other hiding spots just that it would take her a long time to find him if he is on the move.
By the time that she reached the door to the rooftop, she could hear the storm outside and was certain that no matter how big an idiot he could be, there is no way that he would be standing in the middle of this storm. Pressing her palm over her eyes, "You would be the death of me, Dai-chan!" she seethed.
---
Meanwhile, the said teen was wondering through the corridors of the school compound. Usually he wouldn't mind the presence of his childhood friend despite all the nagging she liked to do recently, but today he was unexpectedly hit by a wave of melancholy.

 


White lie
blueramel


It has come to this....

 

Results gonna be out tomorrow. I don't want to be one that is overly emotional about this.

 

If you ask me about it, it feel like I have this odd sense of calm. Haha how completely deceiving my appearance can be.

 

To tell the truth, I have no idea what to expect. Good or bad it is set in stone ages ago so what is point of fretting really. I can't really make an accurate guess as I'm not like the top scorer type. So I know better than expect myself to do as well (if I had ever did well in school). But if my actual results are anything like my school results, I can't say that I'll be calm for sure.

 

Well there is indeed no point in saying anymore really. All I can say is that it is like waiting for the sun to set (like what it is doing now), it is bound to come.


I'm truly strange
blueramel

I swear that I worry about the strangest stuff ever. But haha I think this is not the time for these petty worries! Next Friday comes the important day where I see if I have hopes on getting into a uni. Haha I know people keep on telling me that the results would not be that bad. But somehow I have this gut feeling that it would be bad. Haha talk about self fulfilling prophecy.
Then again, even if I did manage to get a decent score which enables me to get into a jc, it doesn't change the fact that I don't really know what I want to study. I swear that it feels exactly like getting lost in a maze. You have absolutely no idea which way is which and very choice you make doesn't seem to have much impact on your life that you can observed in the short run. But deep inside you know that this choice will being you deeper into the maze or help you get out of it. And these type of choices are the worse kind of choices that we would want to have any mistake in.
Haha and this is all me being depressing and angsty >< I know! Let's just switch up the topic a bit. Recently I realised that there are actually quite a few Arashi videos on YouTube. I mean given that you take some time to find them and you need to watch them as soon as possible (lest they get deleted which is highly possible). But unfortunately though most of them seems to be not subbed.... sigh... that's our fate I guess. I do wish that some day Johnny might be kind enough to let them have their own YouTube channel... I mean even if you don't put a lot of things on it at least I can watch the pv without the risk of never finding it on YouTube again (like what happened to crazy moon and truth) Ah... that's a whole lot of ranting I did there. Oh well that should do it, till next time~


post jc
blueramel

Haha I think post jc life is all about work. All that I do everyday (other than weekends) is wake up, work, eat, sleep. There is hardly any time for anything else. Well it is not bad considering the fact that I actually earn money but I really would like some time for myself.

 

Then other than work, I worry about my future. What is in it for me in my future? I really cannot imagine. I think that even now I am still an aimless person. All my life I guess it has been pretty much of going with the flow trying not to stand out too much. To some extent I might be losing myself. I have interest in things that people would not usually like. I want to do things that most people would just put it off as an impractical dream. As my sis quote from some lame joke "I'm afraid that someday reality would get too hungry and eat all my dreams."  If I don't go for my dreams now, then when will I? 

 

 

 

In reality however, it feels like once you've stepped into the academic education your dreams have already been swallowed whole. Maybe that is why I feel so reluctance to admit and pursue what I like. I know that there are people in those kind of jobs. It is not a career that you are bound to suffer in. But would I do well with such a qualification? I'm thinking exactly like how a practical person would and there is nothing bad in that I know. Would I regret going down either way of the crossroad? That question is one that on one can answer it for you since you have to choose a path before you can know for sure.

 

 

 

Thinking about all these possibilities really taxes my brain. It is like a puzzle that goes round and round in circles. But not thinking about it is not an option. Some people might say just go with your heart and don't think too much! But I really wouldn't want to go into something without thinking too much about it. I'm scared. I think anyone would if the stakes are so high for this decision. I would catch myself wondering why can't you be like any normal person and like some more mainstream course. This is who I am I guess so there is no helping it.

 

 

 

Then again it depends slightly on fate too. If I could then maybe I would.

 

 

 

Right now, I'm still a confused kid not ready to make a decision.

 


Prom
blueramel

Ok before I sink deep into slumberland on my bed, lets make a post~ haha I think prom was super fun! Haha not like the program was damn good or anything like that. But it is simply because this is an event with friends.
Even though half the time I was on bed in a half awake kind of condition, it was still fun! I don't see why people would miss such a chance to spend time together. Ok I can't really think now so I'll end this as that. Off to sleep~

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Haha rushing~
blueramel

Managed to finish reading all the 500 odd chapters of bleach! Yup I guess it is high time I get back to doing mcqs >< lol I really should get back and do some practice cause I don't think that the paper 1 would be easy to handle. Sighs... Just when I really felt like the exam is over.

In bleach's case, I think that things just got real. I mean the strongest person of gotei 13 just got killed like that! On top if that, the captains lost their bankai! How are they going to fight these new enemies!?!? Oh well since this is the last story arc, it seems like the author really has no qualms able killing of characters now.... Right now I just want the week to pass so that there will be new updates to the current situation.

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The end!!!
blueramel

Haha it is finally coming! It's so close that I'm restless even when the exam is on going. There are just so many things that I want to do. Plan and write my fanfic, draw more hierarchy pictures, finish up my sewing project and so much more. I can't really force myself to wait. Oh we'll but I know very well that I have to wait.

In addition, there seems to be something weird with my arm. It hurts! It doesn't hurt as bad as that time I got injured by a badminton racket, but it hurts all the same. The greatest thing would have to be that I need to write 3 Econs essay under timed conditions tomorrow. I guess I really need to go visit the doctor to have it fix.

I seemed to have regained my interest in Bleach. I think haha it is mostly due to toshiro. Lol but yes he's like my favorite character. I guess it is because the story according to what I have read on forums seems to be coming to an end. Then probably it has a good reason for ichigo to lose his shinigami powers and having him gain it back and not just to lengthen the story. So, after the exams one of the first hong I would do will be to go read Bleach bah.

Haha I don't really have to think about the getting back results part. I just hope that whatever results that I get it is good enough for me to go to the course that I would like to study.

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Thinking
blueramel

It is weird that I'm just lying on bed with no motivation to do anything. I catch myself thinking... For more than once now. What lies beyond this exam? Honestly I have no idea what to expect. For all my life I've been in this school system, and that will change very soon in a few years' time. That scares me more that I know. Times like this when I'm just alone makes my mind race through all these possibilities. I wonder what y future have in store for me. I wouldn't know if I stop here. But sometimes it feels like it is ok to stop. Why try so hard? I cannot imagine and really did not try. I wonder if I'll grow up and regret this decision that I made. I hate the sound of it, giving up. That phrase just feels horrid. Tomorrow is yet another exam. We are drawing closer to the end. Faster than I had expected. I'm not prepared. No just referring to the exams but everything. Everything that would come after that (it does not include the times that we designated for fun). I wonder will anyone be truly prepared. It is not just me. Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around that fact that what I'm feeling is not unique to me only. Haha I wonder why is that... My mind is still in a mess but at least it is less tangled than before. Off to another studying session... This will end soon.

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Awake
blueramel

Just happen to be awake at this point of time... I can't help but think back about the chem paper that passed. I don't know what exactly is wrong but it didn't really give me a good feeling so now I'm getting quite uneasy for the next paper. Haha the pains of my body waking me up naturally that this kind of timing. I just keep on thinking. It is never good to stress yourself out before the exam. And I don't want to do that to myself.

That's it! Stop thinking! And I'm going back to studying my math notes!

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Arashi
blueramel

I just spent most of yesterday fangirling over arashi.... I mean what time of the year is this! Sigh I find myself absolutely ridiculous... What in the world am I thinking!?

It too early in the morning and it is too quiet. I can hear the ticking of the clock as if reminding me that I have better things to do than this.

Sigh oh well at least I got to relax for a bit now. Back to work!

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