blueramel (blueramel) wrote,

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As the wind gets colder

In a blink of the eye, autumn is already here. I can feel it. The wind is colder and my feets tends to feel like a popsicle! Being in Korea, away from my family and friends, I really think that I grew up quite a bit here.

Even though there might still be problems, I have the time and the will to slowly try and work things out. I'm glad that things turned out this way. It the way of the world that you can't please everyone but I have to learn it for myself. There are so many things that I thought I knew but that was just all in my brain. What I thought I knew and when the incident actually happens to you is toatally different. I keep on telling myself that it's normal and that people can be like that sometimes but it does not change the fact that it still hurts. I think that through this I've learnt how to deal with my emotions better.

Because of this incident that I had to deal with here in Korea away from people that I'm familiar with, I think I've started to appreciate the friends that I managed to have over the years back in Singapore. It probably has something to do with the fact that I have a very low self-esteem that negative thought just seems to crowd out my thoughts. For some reason or another, I have managed to convience myself that my friends are temporary and they will not be there for me when I need them the most. And through this trip I realised that I have people in my life who will stay with me no matter what. For that, I super grateful. I think here in Korea, I've became more in touch with the emotions that I have. I used to say that my emtions feel like they are locked in the depths of my heart and I can't seem to understand them at all.

I think as time passes, things tend to mean less to you. Nothing will be there forever. If there is something that is bothering you now, there must be something that you can do to make sure that it will have less of an impact on you. If you try there will be a way and remember that actions takes time to have their effects. Be patient and you might be rewarded.
Tags: personal, rants
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